Business Q&A: How can i increase my self esteem and feel better about myself?

Self Help

self help question by Drogba/Nick Jonas 2nd: How can i increase my self esteem and feel better about myself?
I have a low self esteem. Even when i succeed in something i still do not feel happy about myself. This occurs to me a lot especially in the case of dating (for me it’s the best thing in life to love somebody). Example: I say to myself “who wants to date me i’m not cute”, “girls probably think i’m gay” and many other low self esteem things. Can anybody help?

self help best answer:

Answer by Jerry
Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody/a/Meditation.htm or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (no flexibility required) at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_25.html Qi Gong, Tai Chi, or regular yoga suits others better. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. Use the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com “EFT” & “EFT therapists”, or www.tapping.com (13 free videos) Professional is best. – There is a version for use in public places, (if you want to, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: “Even though I currently have low self esteem, I deeply and completely accept myself.” I have recently encountered the opinion that, just as it is important to build a house on a solid foundation, so it is with self esteem. Learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, and failures, or inadequacies. Accept that you, too are just a human being, with the frailties, insecurities, and tendency to err, occasionally, that the rest of us have. That is the beginning of self love, self acceptance, and self esteem. Regularly monitor your internal monologue (self talk): write down the negative ones: “I’m really ugly” and then the converse: “I’m fairly good looking”, and next time you become aware that you are thinking the former, visualise, as vividly as possible, a big “STOP!!!” sign, and/or a stern faced person wagging a finger at you, and deliberately repeat 5 times, either aloud, in a big voice, if alone, or subvocally (to yourself, in your mind), the converse affirmation.

Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don’t regard it as being strictly necessary. Volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: “I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I… (insert activity here)..” Google: “volunteer from home” Edit one page of an Ebook daily, at: http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page Did you know that you can help us produce ebooks by proof-reading just one page a day? Go to: Distributed Proofreaders see: http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Category:Volunteering Write letters in support of prisoners of conscience, for Amnesty International. Many innocent people, whose only reason for incarceration was that they were a thorn in the side of a repressive government, have had their release secured as a result of a flood of letters, from all over the world. Also see http://www.supportpath.com/ and http://www.neoteen.org ELSEWHERE: Help for 2 hours per fortnight, at Meals on Wheels. Other suggestions are: As a literacy volunteer, animal shelter, Red cross/crescent, soup kitchen, Greenpeace, nursing home/hospital, Habitat for Humanity, United Way, or as a Big Sister, or Big Brother. Make a list of all your good points, strengths, and achievements. Put it somewhere so you can easily refer to it, from time to time; perhaps on the refrigerator door, or print it; (large typeface, or capitalise) have it framed, and place in your bedroom, or in a position of prominence, such as on the television, or lounge room wall.

See http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogSearch?cx=016562026678751929112%3Aohfdgqnedms&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=UTF-8&q=self+esteem&siteurl=www.wikihow.com%2FMain-Page#1396 Read: The Self-Esteem Guided Journal: A Ten Week Program (New Harbinger Guided Journal) by Matthew McKay and Catharine Sutker, & Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame by Beverly Engel & Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning & Happy to Be Me!: A Kid Book about Self-Esteem, by Christine Adams, Robert J. Butch, and R. W. Alley, from your bookstore, or Amazon.com. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines may be found on page 1, at 8m.com about self esteem.

Excerpt from ‘Hell No I Ain’t Happy’ – Rich talking about the literary talent of Kanye West
Video Rating: 4 / 5

3 thoughts on “Business Q&A: How can i increase my self esteem and feel better about myself?”

  1. Hi. I have extremely low self esteem too. This is because i think I’m fat as hell. :( All my friends and family know and they all tell me shut up, you are not fat your beautiful! and it really doesn’t help because i just assume they are lying. I cut myself sometimes but i have been praying a lot and slowing it down. Last night I had extreme suicidal thoughts and I feel that if I write my problems/how I feel at the moment down on paper reading it over and over seems to help me and make me realize how stupid it is. So my advice for you is to just keep your head up and think about the good things you have in your life. Just know your def. not the only one (: i’m here if you need meh! :p

  2. Im the same, i have no self esteem which makes it hard to have a relationships with people whether its friends or a boyfriend. Im always putting myself down and im convinced im ugly even when my friends say im not. I havent really told anyone how i feel about myself cause im so embarrassed about it. Its affecting pretty much all of my life. I havent really found an answer yet but i guess maybe talking to someone might help you.

  3. Alright, do you realise that everything take pratice. I just saying this because you may get frustrate that will take time to increase your self esteem. So what do you need to practise, well clearly the evidence is not about what you do or what you have achieve. It is about your attitude towards who you are and what you do.
    So basically, i can’t actually help you to increase your self esteem, you have to help yourself because its your thinking that make you feel better, not anyone else. One of the thing I realise is that everything that you ever thing about is just an interpretation of what happened to you. An interpretation is never the truth by the way, or only partly true. What I’m trying to say is that, you cant claim that just because something happen doesn’t mean everything goes this way. There is not enough evidence to show that girls think you’re gay. It can be everything else (girl think you’re cute).
    So why not choose to think that girl think you’re cute, why not choose the best thinking that you can thing off and from that collect real evidences that support your thinking (girl say hi in the hall).

    You see your negative self-esteem come from what you said to yourself in your questions. And the reason why you did it is because you collect negative evidences from real life situations. So why not go the other way around.

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